With a spirit so willing...

I lost a gallon of gesso somehow.

It seems impossible, but I don't see it anywhere.

Yesterday I lost the C plate to my Cuttlebug, and while I was using it.  Still haven't found it.

Several months ago I lost my complete set of keys -- car, house -- and it was quite costly to replace that key and remote for the car.  I found the keys last week.  They were in a box under my bed where I had several folders of things saved for my art journals.

No idea how the keys got in there really, although I can surmise.  And I still need the gesso and the C plate.  I'm optimistic that at least one of them will reappear.

I wrote recently that this getting old process is wearing thin, and this is the sort of thing I'm talking about.  I still have lots of projects I want to complete while I'm still able, and I feel as though I will be able for a while yet.

I found a large square children's book at a used bookstore last week to make an art journal.  The book doesn't have many pages, it's about 12x12 and is perfect for what I want to do.  Thus, the need for
gesso to begin preparing the pages.

When this sort of thing happens, my creative urges get overrun with frustration and a feeling really close to anger which can quickly move into depression.  Then I start questioning what the heck am I trying to do here?  Do I really need to make this particular journal now?  Of course not!  But the anger comes from feeling that things are a little more out of control now.  To be using something and have it disappear, well, that happens more and more lately.  I have a lot of things going on right now, none of which would seem essential to anyone else.

My focus the past several months (has it been that long?) has been learning parchment craft, which is so relaxing and meditative.  In the evening with something on television or an audio book for company, I trace and emboss until it's time for lights out.  It feels like I've only been doing this for a month at the most, however, this is September and I see some files I downloaded in May on the topic.
This is what I mean about feeling out of control.  The time is whipping by and I am trying my best to keep up.

(During the past month too, I had a bout with a computer crypto virus which wiped out all my photographs and clip art, and believe me, there was a lot.  I got the virus off my computer, thanks to the Geek Squad at Best Buy, and thanks to Carbonite, most of the files were restored.  After that I upgraded that computer to Windows 7 from Vista, and this studio computer from 7 to Windows 10. Now I find that they are both old enough to be slowed down by these newer operating systems, and of course Best Buy would like to sell me a new desktop computer.  But really, what do I need a computer for?  Just think about it!)

I have a smart phone.  I have a tablet.  Both of those things can blog, or read Facebook funny quotes, and check Twitter to see whether a tornado is coming our way.  I can't do graphic arts or use my cutters on those things but the computers I have still work (as I am currently demonstrating.)  But because I am retired (translation: too old for anyone to hire) the desperate need for a whiz-bang computer is really just not here.  As I daily remind myself.

You see, when people say "the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak," it's not always about sex.  It sometimes applies to people like me with an inborn entrepreneurial bent, and we are absolutely driven to create, or produce, or do whatever it is we can do.

Keeping busy is a good thing, at least it is for me.  But now I have to deal with all the things that go with it because of the change in my circumstances, putting it kindly.

I really do wish I could find that gesso.

It is H-E-L-L to have ADD!!

I have been painting up a storm in the past week, using glaze techniques and new skills developed recently, through the wonderful book I found by Chris Cozen, Acrylic Solutions. When the student is ready, the teacher will appear, or something like that.







Anyway, today I had planned to have a studio cleanup and reorganization, which HAS to happen after each marathon painting session. But I keep picking up something and remembering what I meant to do with it, and wanting to do that right now! So I have about ten projects right in front of me that I really want to work on NOW! I definitely need an assistant.

I made some bowls with newspaper strips (learned it on YouTube) that I would like to paint. I have more newspaper strips that I want to collage as a background for a grungy painting with corrugated cardboard and some great metal pieces I have. And rusty paint effects.

And on top of that, my favorite software, Make-The-Cut keeps sending free updates... it's now up to Version 4.6, so each time that happens I want to stop and try that out with my Pazzles, where I cut stencils and masks for my paintings from drawings I have done.

AND some supplies I ordered some time ago showed up yesterday, so I am itching to try them out. But I don't want to stop my organizing and like dessert, I am trying to save the fun stuff for after the work is done. But boy, I'm losing track of all the neat things I really want to do, so maybe I'll pile them all in a box. Which I won't be able to find later. (Seems like I spend an inordinate amount of time looking for stuff.) So I guess I'll make a list at the same time.

I was sure I had some self-leveling gel and got all set up to use that, then discovered there isn't any. That I can find, I should say. I am in dire need of an inventory, ergo, needing an assistant.

And yesterday I got the catalog from Discount School Supply, and really got jazzed over some products that are so much cheaper than buying similar items elsewhere. Should I buy a bunch and put them on my website for sale? Uh... no. I really am trying to get away from retail and concentrate on painting. But I have to remind myself of that. Maybe I should make a sign for myself and hang it above the computer. No more inventory until we get a chance to assess what's here.

So, back to work.